I thought I'd write a bit about my experiences so far at Restoration House, a recovery home for women with addictions who have been living on the street.
What an amazing and receptive group of women! They are strong -- they've seen horrible circumstances and survived them. They are spiritually hungry -- they have no illusions about their "goodness" and are seeking God because they are desperate for Him. They are welcoming -- willing to share and invite myself and other women from the language school into their lives. There are about 15 to 20 of them living in the house at any given time, and they are wide-ranging in age (ranging from high teens to over 50). I had apprehensively wondered if they would be sullen or unfriendly because of their life situation, but have found that most of them want to learn about the Bible, read it and contribute to the discussions. Thank God that their terrible circumstances have gotten them focused on what's important!
Isabel's story is a common one in the house. She did drugs when she was younger, but stopped when she got married and had children. She had 3 children, and then her husband left her. In the ensuing depression, she again turned to drugs to relieve the pain. She was out of control, lost her kids, and ended up living on the street. She now knows that her lifestyle did nothing to ease the pain, but rather caused her more and more pain. She is putting her life back together and looks forward to getting her kids back, and now knows that Christ is the only thing that will fill her and sustain her when she has problems to deal with.
We are alternating between studying through the book of Romans to go over a sound and progressive presentation of the gospel, and studying themes of interest to the group. We have covered the first 3 chapters of Romans and this week will be studying on the topic of Self-Esteem: Who Does the Bible Say We Are? Understandably, many of these woman feel worthless and used up. I pray that they will be encouraged and equipped to fight the lies of Satan and rely on God for their worth when we discuss that they are the bride of Christ, friends of God, adopted daughters given an inheritance, wives pursued by her lover even when they are faithless, and conquerors with the power of the Holy Spirit. Please join me in praying that they will grab hold of these identities and claim the love that Christ has for them each day.
Since my time with these ladies, I've seen and felt (and been somewhat surprised by the strength of) very real spiritual warfare. First, I was prevented from visiting them to start the bible study for nearly a month when I was ill. Ironically, Paul starts the book of Romans by talking about how many times he has been prevented from visiting Rome despite his heart's desire: "I planned many times to come to you (but have been prevented from doing so until now) in order that I might have a harvest among you." Romans 1:13 I don't think that's a coincidence. I believe God plans to make a harvest among these women who are so thirsty for his Word, and He WILL change their lives!
Next, a new resident shared a chilling dream she had on her second night in the home. In the dream, she could see a small group of believers worshipping God, and a large group of people worshipping Satan. She was in a neverland between the two groups of people, and knew she had a choice to make. She felt that she wanted to join the smaller group of Christians, but felt the strong pull of "the known" with the group of worldly people who followed Satan. When she tried to move in the direction of the Christians, she was confronted by Satan, who told her, "You must worship ME! We had a deal, you can't be with them! You won't be accepted!" She expressed a desire to leave him and he taunted her, saying, "I'll be waiting for you on the street; I know you'll be back." I believe these woman are regularly fighting these types of mental and emotional persecutions as they attempt to break the oppression and bondage in their lives. And how brave they are for persevering!
Finally, I've felt personally attacked this week. As I've prepared a study on self-esteem, I've experienced unexplained feelings of worthlessness myself, and found myself taking comments made by others to reinforce this view. This is not a normal preoccupation for me, and finally I realized on Sunday (at church during worship) that it is the enemy trying to distract and disable me from teaching strongly on the subject! After praying and asking God to bind these efforts, the feelings have begun to subside. I'm not one to "over-spiritualize" things (if that is really possible, that's for another blog post), but it's been made clear to me that the source of this oppression was not natural.
Please join me in praying that God would heal all of the many wounds that these women have accumulated in their lives, and specifically for the following women:
- Lorlly, who went home to return to her 8-year-old daughter after only one month in the home. This is a short time, and she was anxious about the strength of her ability to withstand temptation, but had to resume care of her daughter. We prayed fervently together before she left the home that God would protect her and strengthen her, and enable her to be a good parent to her daughter.
- Mari-Paz, who is young and lively and always contributes to the discussions. She has been in the home for about 9 months, so she is preparing to evaluate her readiness for the outside world as well.
- Jerilyn, who shows interest in learning about God's Word and actively participates in the study, but is shy about it and seems unsure of her faith.
- Isabel, mentioned above, that God would heal her wounds from divorce and life on the street and continue to grow her as she walks steadily while leaning on Him.
- Maria, who is young, pregnant, and so wants her child to be healthy and not affected by her former habits.
And please lift up all of us, including my co-teachers Helen, Sandra, and Tiffany, and ask for protection as we fight this battle (spiritual and earthly) together!
For the King,
Andrea
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